It all started somewhere in 2004. I was depressed and all the time crying for my ill fate, all the time worrying about how to cope up with the dialysis expenses of my husband, Sudhir.
Financially the more i needed, the more Swamiji would pull me up and provide with whatever was necessary.
I would be surprised how could i earn so much but then it was His Grace and i knew it in my heart of hearts. But yet a day came when all doors seemed to be closed on us and i said to Sudhir, "Come let's commit suicide and he said yes." What could he do though he was so full of positivism, he had to comply.
This thought of suicide is so powerful that it just fills your whole being and you are so sure you are doing right. I just slept for 3 days, did nothing but contemplating how to go about it.
Then i called my mother who is my source of inspiration throughout the life. She simply said okay, go ahead and do it but be sure that both of you die. If he survives then just think of his plight.
This opened my eyes and then something more happened....my friend Jayashri Mandke from Pune took me to Sri Sarada Math to meet President Yogapranamataji. My life took a full turn in a positive direction.
She asked me to speak on some topic and i replied, "No, no , i cannot do it, it's been years and now i don't think i can ever do it." She insisted and asked me to choose a book or a topic for the forthcoming spiritual retreat. I chose 'Tantine' and my journey started.
More of it tomorrow....
Financially the more i needed, the more Swamiji would pull me up and provide with whatever was necessary.
I would be surprised how could i earn so much but then it was His Grace and i knew it in my heart of hearts. But yet a day came when all doors seemed to be closed on us and i said to Sudhir, "Come let's commit suicide and he said yes." What could he do though he was so full of positivism, he had to comply.
This thought of suicide is so powerful that it just fills your whole being and you are so sure you are doing right. I just slept for 3 days, did nothing but contemplating how to go about it.
Then i called my mother who is my source of inspiration throughout the life. She simply said okay, go ahead and do it but be sure that both of you die. If he survives then just think of his plight.
This opened my eyes and then something more happened....my friend Jayashri Mandke from Pune took me to Sri Sarada Math to meet President Yogapranamataji. My life took a full turn in a positive direction.
She asked me to speak on some topic and i replied, "No, no , i cannot do it, it's been years and now i don't think i can ever do it." She insisted and asked me to choose a book or a topic for the forthcoming spiritual retreat. I chose 'Tantine' and my journey started.
More of it tomorrow....
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