SVyas in SVYASA

Dear all Atmiyas,

Am in 'Prashanti Kuteeram' and thought won't be able to meet you but got an opportunity to have a samvad. On the verge of completing the New Discoveries i turn back to see my journey of trials & triumphs....what i see is my strong foundation built at Vivekananda Kendra, Kanyakumari. When i joined Kendra, i knew nothing. Not that i know today, but till stepped in Kanyakumari i had never ever heard of Upanishads, Bhagwad Gita, Karmayoga, Bhakti yoga etc. 

But now whatever achievements i get while facing the life after Kendra i owe to the sanskaras my mother gave and the fabulous training we got in Vivekananda Kendra.

Today i want to thank each and every one at Kanyakumari for giving me such a good training which made me fit to not only survive but strongly face the life.

Let me tell you a funny incidence in Pune. It was 1994 and i had to attend a Gurupurnima function conducted by one of our Kendra branch. At the end they asked everyone to contribute some dakshina in a box. I was taken aback - What do i do now?  What to put in the box? Where did i have any personal money that i could contribute and then in that state of a mental fix i did an unusual thing. On one chit of paper i wrote - " I offer myself to you on this Vyas Purnima" and put the chit in the donation box - these words became so true...!!

I was later married in Vyas family and had to literally offer 12 years of my life, nay, i actually offered Myself to this family - body, mind, soul totally. We have to be very careful when we commit or say something even in dream isn't it? But folks, calculations don't bring such commitments.

Now coming back to 'Guru Purnima'. In 2007 July, on a Sunday after Gurupurnima, i spoke on the 1st volume of New Discoveries at Sri Sarada Math's Spiritual Retreat. 

This year on a Sunday after Guru Purnima which falls on 17th, i shall complete the 6th volume. After i finished with the 5th volume, Yogaprana Mataji gifted me a book 'Heart Poured Out' by Marie Louis Burke. It is about her guru Swami Ashokananda....What an amazing life he had...!! 

In that book he says - You must fall in love with Swamiji - Yes, my dear Atmiyas, please fall in love with Him and see what happens!

"Even in the dark the ship will go to its destination."

There was a middle - aged woman who had been born in Moscow and had spent her youth there. While in Russia she had had a dream which she related with much emotion. 

In the dream she was led to a sailing ship by a luminous man; it was a black night, and the ship set sail in a boundless sea. She was afraid. Then another man, whose face she saw very clearly, said to her, "There is no fear. Even in the dark the ship will go to its destination." Her fear left, and she awoke". For many years thereafter she had searched in vain for that face in both Russia and England. 

Then in October of 1895 she attended Swamiji's lecture at Prince's Hall, and there He was, the man in her dream.

In 1985 at Kanyakumari i remember hearing about six volumes of 'New Discoveries' by Marie Louis Burke but hadn't paid much attention to it. Reading 6 books seemed to be a task next to impossible. There was so much to be read and Karmayoga being the main theme of our life in Vivekananda Kendra, it was difficult but not impossible. Well, the year 2004 has been a turning point again.

On 4th January 2007 Sudhir passed away and suddenly there was a void. Didn't know what to do? Why to earn money as the reason for earning had ended. The routine of serving him day & night, cooking, leaving home at 5 a.m. for yoga sessions, worrying about how to make the two ends meet had suddenly vanished. 

I left my job at Kanakia's RBK International School because they needed me there full time and wanted me to sign the 3 year bond. I was not mentally ready to be bound again...life with Sudhir was a 12 year bondage and it was enough now. I needed to give more time to my mother. 

Aai started taking me out of Mumbai every month. In March we went to Belur, Dakshineshwar, Sarada Math, Kamarpukur - Jairambati and all the related places in Kolkata. Don't remember when but i promised Yogaprana Mataji that i shall speak on the 'New Discoveries'. Initially i didn't have my own set of these volumes but later Mataji gifted me all the volumes.

Can you believe dear friends that on 17th July 2011 i will be completing the VI volume at the Spiritual Retreat in Sarada Math, Pune. The best part of the lectures on these books is after reading it in English i would speak in Marathi. And the worst part of it is i don't have any notes because i wrote none. Though till date i haven't had a chance to speak in English yet.

Four years have passed and it is like 'Vrata Saangta' now. Cannot yet comprehend that have finished reading all volumes. Thanks to my mother who instilled this liking to read and developed a habit of reading and then also of discussing with her about what was read.

All these years while i was reading the New Discoveries, whoever was next to me at home or in office or in journey had to compulsorily hear about Swamiji.

All the time i would be in awe of what i was reading. I could see myself as a speck of dust and become witness to every thing happening in HIS life. Day and night , in my breath & my dreams, in my food & my thoughts, every iota of second was filled with only Swamiji. 

Like the story with which i started today about the Russian lady even my life has become-

 .......All fear has left, and even in the dark the ship is moving towards destination...!!!

Tantine happened..

I had read the book 'Tantine, Friend of Swami Vivekananda' in 1994, had loved the book and also had gifted it to so many friends. She had literally mesmerised me. But when i decided to speak on her, on the last minute i couldn't find my original copy hence bought a new one. Before the lecture commenced, got a news that the author of Tantine, Revered Prabuddhaprana Mataji was to visit Mumbai, at Dadar center. 

I reached a little late at the Ramakrishna Mission center at Dadar. As i entered the place and saw her i stood transfixed ... Prabhuddaprana Mataji was a foreigner(American) speaking in Bengali and English. She told us how she wrote the book and her visits to Khetri etc. before joining the order.

I took her signature on the book and with her permission & blessings dared to speak on Tantine. Josephine Mcleoud or Joe Joe went right into my veins & arteries. It wasn't easy to cover the entire book in 1 hour span but my first lecture in Sri Sarada Math , Pune went okay with Thakur, Maa and Swamiji's blessings.

After this lectureYogaprana Mataji would ask me what next? So in next camp i took Sara Bull, Swamiji's American mother and then Margaret Nobel. Thus finished a trio of Friend, Mother and Daughter of Swamiji. I was really blessed when Ramakrishna Math Pune invited me to speak on Tantine.

I was and still am wondering how much was left to know about Him. Didn't i work for Vivekananda Kendra? Didn't we all the time speak about Him in schools and colleges? Still so much was remaining.... and then 12 years of being away from Him but now how He was pulling me again and taking me into His fold...! 

I wonder at Sri Ramakrishna's wonderful ways. He had gently moved me or should i say put me into the lap of Holy Mother. Thakur knew what was necessary for me that time. 

He had brought Swamiji in my life again with a force and He became a part of me...all the time i feel His presence.

May you all be able to feel the same Presence is my only prayer...!!! 

New life...new journey

It all started somewhere in 2004. I was depressed and all the time crying for my ill fate, all the time worrying about how to cope up with the dialysis expenses of my husband, Sudhir. 

Financially the more i needed, the more Swamiji would pull me up and provide with whatever was necessary. 

I would be surprised how could i earn so much but then it was His Grace and i knew it in my heart of hearts. But yet a day came when all doors seemed to be closed on us and i said to Sudhir, "Come let's commit suicide and he said yes."  What could he do though he was so full of positivism, he had to comply.

This thought of suicide is so powerful that it just fills your whole being and you are so sure you are doing right. I just slept for 3 days, did nothing but contemplating how to go about it.

Then i called my mother who is my source of inspiration throughout the life. She simply said okay, go ahead and do it but be sure that both of you die. If he survives then just think of his plight.

This opened my eyes and then something more happened....my friend Jayashri Mandke from Pune took me to Sri Sarada Math to meet President Yogapranamataji. My life took a full turn in a positive direction.

She asked me to speak on some topic and i replied, "No, no , i cannot do it, it's been years and  now i don't think i can ever do it." She insisted and asked me to choose a book or a topic for the forthcoming spiritual retreat. I chose 'Tantine' and my journey started.

More of it tomorrow....

Eternal Pilgrimage with Swamiji

Feel like i am on an eternal pilgrimage. Every aspect of life has become Holy and Pure. As i visit our Jaipur Foot center in KEM, meet new people - some amputed, some polio affected, some asking for wheel chairs for paraplegics or for post operated patients....each one with a new story, each one revealing a new dimension of life which we never come across.

Our lives are so simple but we have made it complicated by ourselves alone, no one to blame, it is all our creation.... Having healthy body doen't mean anything to us unless we see the handicap, sorry, differenly abled people.

Everyday i wish to write on one of them who remain in my system for a long time.

Today very happy that i could start my own blog. Was pondering over it for a long time. So much to talk with you co- pilgrims on my  journey of life. No time to be lonely, no time to be sad. Be happy and walk...

Swamiji's 2nd visit to West

Swamiji started from Kolkata on 20th June 1899 by S.S.Golconda with Swami Turiyananda. Man -making was the new gospel this time applying not only to the Sanyasins, not only to Indians, but in its more profound sense, to men & women everywhere and in all walks of life.....this message applies true to all of us in our lives even today.

He is so much full of fun on this journey as he writes his travel diary...writes for Udbodhan which later came in form of 'Prachya o Pashchatya' in Bengali. After reading this book Gurudev Rabindranath said, "How colloquial Bengalee can appear as a living & forceful language... you will realize after reading it."