Green is the Colour of Money

Later i joined this office and started working with the NGO named Bhagwan Mahaveer Viklang Sahayata Samiti. Even then this did not strike me that it is an organisation named after the great Jain Seer Lord Mahaveer!

Our MD does lot of philanthropy and  hence have to visit his hometown in Rajasthan where we conduct eye camps, distribute blankets, solar lamps help poor people etc. etc. During last 5 years have been moving along with the sadhvis and had the darshan of the Acharyas, have started understanding about Jainism a little bit.

Whenever i am with these Sadhvis in white garb i think of my dream and feel immensely happy.

Ours is a stock broking and finance company of which i know nothing. Yesterday i was talking with one of my colleague who is Jain and many of his aunts, nieces have become Sadhvis. I said, do you know, now a days i just keep moving amidst 2 colours  - Saffron and White!! He said good you don't have to even think of green at all! i said, Why? isn't it the beautiful colour of nature? He answered  - No! Green is the colour of MONEY!! Let us take care of this and you just be with Saffron and White!!!

Saffron and White

I seem to be moving amidst only two colours - Saffron and White!

On 18th I came from Pune after meeting the Swamijis in Ramakrishna Math and being with the Sansyasinis for two days in Sarada Math on 17th and 18th December. On 20th left for Bidasar and then visited the Jain Vishwa Bharati University at Ladnun, in Rajasthan. I stayed there and was with the Sadhwis and the Samanis for two days.

On 18th November 1991 i had a dream, can't say weird but unusual and different. How do i remember the perfect date? In those days i used to write diary very regularly but did not preserve them all. When i joined Vivekananda Kendra i put all my previous life written in the diaries to fire and moved ahead.

Even these diaries had the same fate! But before discarding them i removed some of the important pages according to me and preserved. After some 10 to 12 years now read these pages again as i kept remembering this dream on and often.

So on 18th Nov.1991 i had dreamt of many Jain Sadhvis in white garbs. In dream too i was surprised to see them as i had no connection with anything named Jain! I saw that the incharge of their group was asking me to come along and join them. The most important part was that my mother was packing clothes for me to leave with them.

I kept wondering even the next day that actually when i should be seeing the sanyasin didis from Sarada Math then why was i seeing these ladies in white garbs? Have actually written it in diary.

But when Sudhir was very sick and i was in my most difficult phase of life, apart from my mother & brother  the help came only from the Jain family and even later whenever i was in any difficulty may be while travelling or any other matter it was always some or the other Jain family!

Are you all eager to know? Then let's continue tomorrow.....

Request to Gurubandhus - Comeback to Calcutta and start the work

This seems to be difficult or rather curious to understand that why Swamiji did not communicate with His brother disciples for almost 7 to 8 months?  His first letter to them is somewhere on 18^th March 1894 whereas meanwhile He has sent at least 3 letters to His Madras disciples.

May be He had written this letter in January and took three months to reach Calcutta. May be all other Swamis, His brother disciples had themselves been wandering all over India?

Was He out of habit in writing to them or was He not prepared to inform them about the plan taking shape in His mind about the future work. Was He waiting for a Divine command to explain His ideas to them and make them follow those?

Most of the Monastic disciples of Sri Ramakrishna were still wandering. Somewhere in April 1894 Swamiji wrote to Swami Shivananda to call the brother monks back to Math and start the work. Immediately after getting the letter Sw. Shivananda met Swamis Brahmananda and Turiyananda in Lucknow and conveyed the request. By the end of 1894 they both returned to Calcutta.

His letters to the brothers till the early part of1895 were not many but later He started writing to them frequently with tremendous power in each word. It was not only that His words carried power but His Inspiration and Vision that would later bring revolution in the monastic concept of India.  

The Plight of Gurubandhus?

Actually at that time Swamiji was not certain about his stay in America and still he committed for 3 years is a strange thing. We don’t know whether any one warned Him or not or whether they were equally naïve about it?   Directly from a Memphis Tennessee newspaper ‘Appeal – avalanche’ of 21 January 1894, we come to know "He is under contract with the 'Slayton Lyceum Bureau,' of Chicago, to fill a three - years' engagement in this country."  Sister Christine in her memoirs mentions a Pond’s Lecture Bureau, HQ at New York but now after research we know that it is definitely the Slayton Lyceum Bureau of Chicago. 

But we can’t find the trace of Swamiji’s itinerary because all old files of this bureau are destroyed totally. This is the reason that we cannot follow His footsteps  in the Midwest.  But even without this information Sister Gargi was able to fill in the gaps of His tour and still we can hope for much more information to come up in future. 

At least we have some consolation now when we read about the filled gaps in His tour but just think of His Gurubandhus? They had more tough time in keeping track of His where about. Just see this following attempt–   

"Dear Sirs -      

Swami Vivekananda      

Care Mr. Geo. W. Hale       

54I Dearborn Ave      

Chicago       

The above Hindu monk has been travelling under Messrs Tho.Cook & Sons Agency. Your Bombay people arranged last year for his passage to America where he went to represent the Hindu religion at the Parliament  of Religions held in connection with the World's Fair at Chicago -- swami Vivekananda is reported to have delivered several Ictuses in America, a few of which only are reproduced or noticed in the Indian papers - but as the extracts and notices that appeared here are believed to be unsatisfactory, the brother monks and admirers of Swamiji are anxious to obtain all the American papers or cuttings thereof as most convenient containing all the speeches that have been delivered in and about Chicago, and in fact wherever he spoke in America, these to include all newspaper notices or criticisms both for and against that are known to have appeared, but not to include the Report of the Parliament of Religions issued by the Secretary of the Chicago Exhibition, a copy of which has already been secured from here. 

Under the circumstances the undersigned on behalf of the brother monks and admirers of Swami Vivekananda shall be very much obliged if you will kindly arrange, owing to the excellent facilities you possess on a/c of your numerous agencies and branches, with your people at Chicago for the collection of papers and pamphlets named above together with one or two copies of photos if they are in circulation, and have them all forwarded to your care, the express thereof shall be paid by Swamiji's admirers through the undersigned. 

Further the only address known of Swami Vivekananda is noted as above. It is quite possible that Swamiji has or will have left the place ere this reaches your Chicago Agent, therefore I beg to ask you to kindly write and inform your Chicago Agent to put himself in communication with Mr. Hale or any other party regarding the movements of Swami Vivekananda, who according to the rules of Hindu Sannyasi (ascetic) will not write and inform of his whereabouts, which information however is so anxiously looked for by his admirers and brother monks -       

Yours obediently     

 Kali Krishna Dutta"

See, how eager they were to know about Him? Whenever i read all this my heart goes out to them who were worried to know Swamiji's whereabouts! My heart goes out to even Swamiji who was also struggling against all the odds, meeting new people every where and adjusting  to the weather which was getting colder & colder!

Let's read about His Midwestern tour shortly. 

Today we collected 24 bottles of blood in my office and i feel very thankful to each one who daonated blood. Thank you dear colleagues....

Signing up with the 'Slayton-Lyceum Bureau'

Sometimes we just have to rely on Swamiji’s words when He says - He began to whirl to and fro! While in Chicago as he got famous and people thronged for his lecture. Naturally  there were people who thought of taking advantage of this fact and mint money.

He signed up with a `Slayton Lyceum Bureau' somewhere in the early winter months and started his Midwestern tour. About these 'whirlings' he talks very little. His purpose behind signing with the bureau must be – 

1) to broadcast the truth about the Indian culture, customs and the religion which was wrongly and systematically misrepresented in America by the missionaries.

2) the need to earn money to support himself and to collect money for his work in India.

Mr. Slayton came to know from the Chicago newspapers that he had a prize on the list. This belief got confirmed by a letter from a Congregational minister, Dr. W.H. Thomas. This letter was used by Mr. Slayton as an advertisement or Swamiji’s lectures. Let’s read the letter in full –

Dear Mr. Slayton:

'Of the many learned men in the East who took part in the great World's Parliament of Religion, Vivekananda was the most popular favorite, and when it was known that he was to speak thousands were turned away for want of room. Nor was it curiosity alone that drew the masses; for those who heard him once were so impressed by the magnetism of his fine presence, the charm and power of his eloquence, his perfect command of the English language and the deep interest in what he had to say, that they desired a11 the more to hear him again. It will be the opportunity of a life time for the cities of our land to see and hear this noble, earnest, loving Brahmani dressed in the costume of his order, and telling the true story of the religions and customs of his far - off country.'

Affectionately,

W. H. Thomas.

Mr. Slayton somehow persuaded Swamiji in signing a three year contract with his bureau.

Folks, let’s read more about it tomorrow.

Have organized a Blood Donation Camp in my office tomorrow. Today for the first time finished reading the biography on Saradama – ‘Holy Mother’ by Swami Nikhilananda. What a life!!

My Test Day is approaching... have to speak about the Holy Mother & Swamiji - 'Matrubhakt Swamiji' on 18^th!

He was a Father, Son, Teacher and Friend.

When I think of the entire Chicago events, try to visualize the Art museum, those Americans rushing to meet Swamiji, touch Him, kiss the helm of His gown etc., I also start visualizing Swamiji Himself. Keep thinking of how He must have looked? People sought Him for guidance, for obtaining solace and to find a father, son, teacher and friend in Him.

Just try to visualize Him then -  in the full force of His youth and face shining with the divine light..... The 'Chicago Times' of 12 Sept 1893 says -  'The face and dress which attracted the most notice, especially from the ladies, was that of Swami Vivekananda, a young man exceptionally handsome and with features that would command attention anywhere. His dress was bright orange, and he wore a long coat and regulation turban of that colour. Vivekananda is a Brahmin monk, and Prof. Wright of Harvard is quoted as saying that he is one of the best educated men in the world.'

The correspondent of the'Boston Evening Transcript' found a way to meet the delegates of the Parliament behind the scenes, and it is to him that we owe a more intimate description of Swamiji. His article, as published in the Transcript on September 30, 1893, is given here in full: Chicago, Sept. 23.

"There is a room at the left of the entrance to the Art Palace marked "No. 1 - keep out." To this the speakers at the Congress of Religions all repair sooner or later, either to talk with one another or with President Bonney, whose private office is in one corner of the apartment. The folding doors are jealously guarded from the general public, usually standing far enough apart to allow peeping in. Only delegates are supposed to penetrate the sacred precincts, but it is not impossible to obtain an "open sesame," and thus to enjoy a brief opportunity of closer relations with the distinguished guests than the platform in the Hall of Columbus affords.

     The most striking figure one meets in this anteroom is Swami Vivekananda, the Brahmin monk. He is a large, well - built man, with the superb carriage of the Hindustanis, his face clean shaven, squarely moulded regular features, white teeth, and with well - chiselled lips that are usually parted in a benevolent smile while he is conversing. His finely poised head is crowned with either a lemon colored or a red turban, and his cassock (not the technical name for this garment), belted in at the waist and falling below the knees, alternates in a bright orange and rich crimson. He speaks excellent English and replied readily to any questions asked in sincerity.

Along with his simplicity of manner there is a touch of personal reserve when speaking to ladies, which suggests his chosen vocation. When questioned about the laws of his order, he has said, "I can do as I please, I am independent. Sometimes I live in the Himalaya Mountains, and sometimes in the streets of cities. I never know where I will get my next meal, I never keep money with me. I come here by subscription." Then looking round at one or two of his fellow - countrymen who chanced to be standing near he added, "They will take care of me," giving the inference that his board bill in Chicago is attended to by others. When asked if he was wearing his usual monk's costume, he said, "This is a good dress; when I am home I am in rags, and I go barefooted. Do I believe in caste?

Caste is a social custom; religion has nothing to do with it; all castes will associate with me."

 It is quite apparent, however, from the deportment, the general appearance of Mr. Vivekananda that he was born among high castes - years of voluntary poverty and homeless wanderings have not robbed him of his birthright of gentleman; even his family name is unknown; he took that of Vivekananda in embracing a religious career, and "Swami" is merely the title of reverend accorded to him. He cannot be far along in the thirties, and looks as if made for this life and its fruition, as well as for meditation on the life beyond. One cannot help wondering what could have been the turning point with him.

 "Why should I marry," was his abrupt response to a comment on all he had renounced in becoming a monk, "when I see in every woman only the divine Mother? Why do I make all these sacrifices? To emancipate myself from earthly ties and attachments so that there will be no re-birth for me. When I die I want to become at once absorbed in the divine, one with God. I would be a Buddha."

Vivekananda does not mean by this that he is a Buddhist. No name or sect can label him. He is an outcome of the higher Brahminism, a product of the Hindu spirit, which is vast, dreamy, self extinguishing, a Sanyasi or holy man.

He has some pamphlets that he distributes, relating to his master, Paramhansa Ramakrishna, a Hindu devotee, who so impressed his hearers and pupils that many of them became ascetics after his death. Mozoomdar also looked upon this saint as his master, but Mozoomdar works for holiness in the world, in it but not of it, as Jesus taught.

Vivekananda's address before the parliament was broad as the heavens above us, embracing the best in all religions, as the ultimate universal religion - charity to all mankind, good works for the love of God, not for fear of punishment or hope of reward. He is a great favorite at the parliament, from the grandeur of his sentiments and his appearance as well. If he merely crosses the platform he is applauded, and this marked approval of thousands he accepts in a childlike spirit of gratification, without a trace of conceit. It must be a strange experience too for this humble young Brahmin monk, this sudden transition from poverty and self effacement to affluence and aggrandizement. When asked if he knew anything of those brothers in the Himalayas so firmly believed in by the Theosophists, he answered with the simple statement, "I have never met one of them," as much as to imply, "There may be such persons, but though I am at home in the Himalayas, I have yet to come across them."

I thought of just telling you about His divine countenance but couldn't stop from giving all the details from the newspapers.

Well, coming back to Swamiji during Parliament period we understand that though outwardly His mind attended the world very brilliantly but beneath the surface lay the mind which was always absorbed in God. All the time He was ready to pour out blessings on whoever came to Him.

On and often He would merge into Nirvikalpa Samadhi but would be drawn back by either Sri Ramakrishna or by His infinite love and compassion for the mankind. 

In Sister Gargi’s words –“In order that He might fulfill his mission here, we cannot know; but we can assume that He always lived on the borderline between the relative and the Absolute, as a prophet of his supreme eminence must.”

The only object Unchangeable.......

We know by now the lucky people in whose house Swamiji stayed as a guest during His travels. But the most lucky were the Hales whose home was His headquarter for almost entire year of 1894. Some papers of Mr. George W. Hale came to light during the research period of Marie Louise Burke. Swamiji had jotted down some series of notes by pencil on the letter head bearing Mr. Hales name. The date of the manuscript is not known but let read the notes in their original form -

       

           " Reason - has its limits its base -

its degeneration. The walls round it -

             Agnosticism. Atheism. But must not stop

             The beyond is acting upon influencing us every

moment - the sky the stars acting upon us - even

those not seen. Therefore must go beyond - reason

alone can't go - finite can not get at the infinite

Faith its degeneration when alone - bigotry

fanaticism - sectarianism. Narrowing

finite:. can not get to the infinite

             Sometimes gain in intensity but looses [sic] in

extensity - and in bigots & fanatics become

worship of his own pride & vanity

             Is there no other way - there is Love

it never degenerates - peaceful softening

ever - widening - the universe is too small

for its expansiveness.

             We can not define it we can only trace

it through its development and describe its

surroundings

             It is at first - what the gravitation

is to the external world - atendency to unification

forms and conventionalities are its death.

             Worship through forms - methods - services

forms - up to then no love.

             When love comes method dies.

             Human language and human forms

             God as father, God as mother, God as

the lover - surata - vardhanam etc. Solomon's Song of Songs - dependence and independence

             Love Love -

             Love the chaste wife Anasuya Sita -

not as hard dry duty but as ever pleasing

love - sita worship -

             The madness of Love - god intoxicated man

             The allegory of Radha - misunderstood

             The restriction more increase -

             Lust is the death of love

             Self is the death of love

individual to general

             Concrete to abstract - to absolute

             The praying Mahomedan and the girl

             The Sympathy - Kavir

the Christian nun from whose hands blood came

             The Mahomedan Saint

             Every particle seeking its own complement

             When it finds that it is at rest

             Every man seeking - happiness -& stability

             The search is real but the objects are themselves

but happiness is coming to them momentary at least through the

search of these objects.

             The only object unchangeable and the only

complement of character and aspirations of the

human Soul is God

             Love is struggle of a human Soul to find its

complement, its stable equilibrium its infinite rest."

 As i was reading these notes now,  and i read this sentence - 'The praying Mahomedan and the girl' i immediately remember the story which comes in the 3rd volume, when He is in London. May be tomorrow i will tell that story to you my dear Atmajas.

Lectures out side Chicago

 We have seen that Swamiji was lecturing outside Chicago too. We have the proof from one of His letter written to Mrs. Woods in whose house He stayed at Salem. Let's read the letter -

October 10, 1893
'Dear Mrs. Tannatt Woods:   I received your letter yesterday. Just now I am lecturing about Chicago - and am doing as I think very well - it is ranging from 30 to 80 dollars a lecture and just now I have been so well advertised in Chicago gratis by the Parliament of religions that it is not advisable to give up this field now. To which I am sure you will agree. However I may come soon to Boston but when I cannot say. Yesterday I returned from Streator where I got 87 dollars for a lecture. I have engagements every day this week. And hope more will come by the end of the week. 

My love to Mr. Woods and compliments to all our friends.' 

Yours truly,
Vivekananda

For some time at least we will be reading about how many dollars or cents He got for His lectures which He was collecting for the work in India. 

Equality in all Beings is the sign of the Free.

The 'Bundle of joy unearth' was the six photographs of Swamiji taken in 1893 after the Parliament days. One of which is very famous and familiar to us in which Swamiji is standing with arms folded across His chest. This photograph was used as a colour poster during the Parliament days. The bundle contained this photo along with other 5 pictures which were autographed by Swamiji. Think of the joy Sister Gargi must have felt when she got these pictures from Swami Vishwananda. These are all having original Sanskrit mottoes written in Bengali script and inscribed with English letters. The transcript on all SIX photographs goes as follows:

1. 'Ajaramaravat prajnah vidyam arthancha chintayetGrihita' - iva kesheshu     mrityuna dharmam acharet:

When in search of knowledge or prosperity think that you would never have death or disease, and when worshipping God think that death's hand is in your hair.

 2. ‘Eka eva suhrid dharma nidhanepyanuyati yah’:

   Virtue is the only friend which follows us even beyond the grave. Everything else ends with death.

           

 3. ‘One infinite pure and holy - beyond thought beyond qualities I bow down to thee’

4. ‘Samata sarva - bhuteshu etanmuktasya Lakshanam’ -  Equality in all beings is the sign of the free.

5. ‘Thou art the only treasure in this world’

6. ‘Thou art the father the lord the mother the husband and love’

Now you can find these photographs and connect with them easily. I don't know how to do it yet but i shall try to post those pictures on the blog shortly....

Wasn't the waiting for two days worthwhile?

Sadhana Diwas - Nay, Life itself has become a Sadhana, a Tapasya.

It is past 2 a.m. and 20th Nov. has begun......yesterday was 19 Nov.- Sadhana Diwas!! My mind has transported back to 1985 when i joined Vivekananda Kendra - a naive young 24 year old girl. What all i had done to reach to this place, without knowing what it was, for what it stood, who was Eknathji Ranade, ignorant about Swamiji, not knowing much about Sri Ramakrishna & Saradamaa, absolutely nothing!! Just a decision of not marrying and doing something for the soceity were only two reasons to go to Kanyakumari.

How life changed! Oh, how life transformed!! One cannot imagine!!! A new world opened - a world where people would love me for who i am and not for what i looked. Whether i was dark or plain made no difference to them. Where position, wealth, beauty, language, caste, appearance nothing mattered. Day in and day out, every second my life was changing, widening. My mind was becoming broad, everything around me looked new, not of the world from where i came!

Mumbai life seemed so far...the Air India Building, Bajaj Bhavan where i worked, that journey by local trains, standing at the door and traveling to and fro to office was long forgotten....only one thing was common - my dear dear Ocean which connected me to Mumbai with Kanyakumari. I am what i am today is first due to my mother and second because of my Vivekananda Kendra at Kanyakumari.

At Kanyakumari a shy shraddha became a comperer, learnt to give lecture with notes first and then without, learnt yoga, how to chant Bhagwad Gita, Vishnu Sahastranam. I knew & had read about Sri Aurobindo before joining Kendra but there Sri Ramana Maharshi, Narayanguru and many more saints, poets, authors, freedom fighters from all over the country entered my life to expand my vision. Was this all not happening to prepare me for my future?

Those 6 months of training, posting to Arunachal for 4 years and then 6 years to Pune---10 years of different life and vast experience!! Oh, what a life..! Golden days of my life which never ever came again. It only prepared me for the further sufferings.

 But this change made me unfit to live in the world when i got married. Even today i find myself unfit to live in this world. Kendra life had taught me only to do Sacrifice and Seva, Simplicity and Self surrender. Even today i feel out of place in my posh office surrounded by people who are selfish, pulling each other down, treating others inhumanly, self centered and full of materialistic approach.

I feel like a fish out of pond but then i am also lucky to have Swamiji to bring me out of this world. Today i feel all of a sudden all those 26 years have just vanished and i am the same old shraddha just entering the gates of VivekanandaPuram at Kanyakumari. I close my eyes and see the Rock Memorial clearly, hear the waves at the beach, feel the hot sand, the pointed pebbles pricking in my naked feet.

Again I want to sing bhajan, i want to sit and meditate at the Rock, at the beach, under the tamarind tree, want to sneak away and eat dosa at the canteen and relish idlis, beetroot sabji and upma with sugar in Annapurna.

This change, this transformation was all  possible only beacuse of the vision of this great personality - Man. Eknathji Ranade. My pranams to him on this Sadhana Diwas. Because of him i could turn my sufferings into a Sadhana, a Tapasya!!!

A Bundle of Joy Unearth

We find throughout the volumes how there were coincidences happening in Swamiji’s life.....right from Ms. Kate Sanborn meeting Him on a train to Mrs. Hale opening the door for Him. Not only in matters concerning with Swamiji we find these coincidences but even today as I read or speak or search for anything concerning Him these coincidences keep happening....Unbelievable!!! Don’t wish to add to superstitions but it does happen folks!

I spoke about the photographs of Swamiji suddenly coming into hands of Marie Loise Burke......what an interesting story it is , indeed.!!

The photographs and other other valuable material of Swamiji came to her through the kindness of Swami Vishwananda, incharge of Vivekananda Vedantas Society, Chicago at that time. The story is worth listening to and few changes go like this------

‘A young man who was not at all connected with Vedanta, had received from his grandmother a bundle of unpublished letters, photographs, and other material pertaining to Swami Vivekananda. He kept them as it is knowing that his grandmother had cherished them. Later he might have kept them or even discarded them but don't know how, one of his friend who was a student of Swami Vishwananda came to know of this bundle of old documents. One day she told Swami Vishwananda about the existence of these important documents. The Swami instantly visited this young man and found, with great joy which we can imagine, a veritable feast of the unknown material! That young man gladly gave him the bundle which originally belonged to the McKindley sisters, nieces of Mr. and Mrs. Hale. This unlooked for and unexpected discoveries gave hope to MLBurke and gives even to us today that eventually more hidden material regarding Swamiji will come to light, slowly pushing its way up through the years.’

 Still you have to wait to know about the photographs my dear Atmajas'....

Swamiji's Transcendental State during Parliament days

I do not know whether this happens to every one but for me, as I earlier said, as I read the volumes, mentally I am travelling with Him... sitting somewhere like a speck of dust and watching the Divine drama unfolding before my eyes!!! And now after completing volumes am in a hurry to introduce you to Mrs. Bagley, Sister Christine, Laura Glenn and Sir Hiram Maxim and so many so many more. But till you know about His assignment with lecture bureau we cannot move ahead. Still before let us look at the exalted state of mind in which He would often move away from this worldly life into the higher realms.

In one of Mary Hale’s letters, she describes Swamiji as “the great and glorious soul that came to the Parliament of Religions, so full of love of God, that his face shone with Divine light, whose words were fire, whose very presence created an atmosphere of harmony and purity, thereby drawing all souls to himself.”

Some photographs that later came to Marie Louise Burke show Swamiji’s childlike and tender state. There’s an unbelievable story regarding these photos but for that we have to wait till tomorrow.

In 1939 Swami Vishwananda got a letter from Swamiji’s disciple Sarat Chandra Chakravarti whose diary is published in the Complete Works. This letter clearly indicates His exalted state!! Some portion of this letter is as follows:

             “... Swamiji once told me that one moonlight night when he was on the shore of Lake Michigan his mind began to merge in Brahman. Suddenly he saw Sri Ramakrishna and he remembered the work for which he had come to this world, and then his mind came down and again turned toward the fulfillment of his mission. I recorded this in my diary, but I did not think it necessary to make it public; therefore I have not published it as yet. I am letting only you know...”

During and after Parliament Swamiji lived in such a transcendental state when the world was His for asking!!! He was in demand everywhere and all the doors of the rich, the intellectual, the brilliant and the socially prominent, were all open to Him. But His difficulty was in not lifting His mind above the World  but to hold it down for the sake of his work. In the initial period in America the difficulty was rather more eminent as the above state occurred to Him always. Sister Nivedita  puts it aptly about Swamiji’s this state  –

“The Swami never seemed, it must be remembered, to be doing tapasya, but his whole life was a concentration so intense that for any one else it would have been a most terrible tapasya. When he first went to America, it was extremely difficult for him to control the momentum that carried him into meditation. "When he sits down to meditate," had said one whose guest he was in India, "in two minutes he feels nothing, though his body be black with mosquitoes." With this habit thus deeply ingrained, he landed in America, that country of railways and tramways, and complicated engagement lists, and at first it was no uncommon thing for him to be carried two or three times round a tram circuit, only disturbed periodically by the conductor asking for the fare. He was very much ashamed of such occurrences, however, and worked hard to overcome them.”

Chicago and Outside...

In Chicago Swamiji stayed for a long time giving lectures in churches, clubs, city homes, parlours etc. From His letter we know that He spoke on Buddhism at Ladies’ Fortnightly Club on 27 October1893. This club avoided publicity hence we don’t have any printed information from the newspaper. But from ‘Tribune’ we come to know that the Fortnightly Club had its first meeting and lecture by Swamiji on Buddhism at Hotel Richelieu which is recorded in the Club’s yearbook of 1893. Now the hotel is demolished and this is what we know of Swamiji’s engagements in Chicago.

But regarding His lectures in the neighbouring towns we can gather from the newspaper reports.

Prof. Wright’s friend Dr. Bradley lived at Evanston which was on north of Chicago. At the Parliament there was Dr. Carl Von Bergen, a representative from Scandinavia, Sweden who spoke only once. He stated that Sweden’s Christian Church had a broad and tolerant outlook towards all religions. These two fellow delegates became friends and later we find them having lunch together more than once.

On 29^th Sept.1893 the ‘Chicago Evening Journal’ announced -

             “ALTRUISM OF CHRISTIANITY”

             It Will Be Contrasted with Hindoo Ethics in Lectures at Evanston.

             Suami Vivekananda, a representative from India to the recent World's Parliament of Religions, and Dr. Carl Von Bergen, a representative from Scandinavia, will give three lectures in Evanston beginning tomorrow evening. The other lectures will be given on Tuesday and Thursday evenings of next week in the Congregational Church. The subjects for Saturday evenings are "Altruism in Christianity; illustrated by the life of Catherine of Siena, the herald of pure Christianity in the middle ages," by Dr. Von Bergen; "Hindu Altruism," by Suami Vivekananda. Tuesday evening, "Monism," Suami Vivekananda; "Lord Shaftesbury, the most earnest philanthropist of our age," Dr. Von Bergen. On this evening John W. Hutchinson will sing a number of the old time songs which have made him so famous. Thursday evening, "Huldine Beamish: the founder of the Edelweiss," Dr. Von Bergen. "Reincarnation," Suami Vivekananda.

Exactly when did He sign up with the Lecture Bureau we do not know. But i dread now to tell all hereafter in what way this bureau literally made Him run around the places and minted money at His health's cost. 

 I wept when i read about His physical exhaustion... let us read tomorrow.

Vivekananda the Vivid

We are indeed very fortunate to have two unpublished letters of Swamiji to Prof. Wright. out of which one we read yesterday. These letters are important because they don’t only tell us about His activities in Chicago but also the luminous state of His mind during the early days of His American mission.

We were always doubtful about how long did He stay in Chicago before He started moving out to give lectures? There were many gaps in Swamiji’s biographies regarding His whereabouts during the last part of 1893 and the whole of 1894. Though we knew that He toured the Midwest and East lecturing and moving with the lecture bureau and also independently, we just got glimpses of Him here and there.

What we really miss even today is the innumerable conversations, meetings with people, private interviews He must have given during this period. We also are helpless in knowing the infinite spiritual experiences He must have had !!!

Let us peep little bit into His post Parliament activities.  From Cornelia Conger we now know that how interested Swamiji was in the American schools and about the education He wanted for us in India, especially for we girls! In this connection He visited a famous school ‘Cook County Normal School’ run by Principal Col. Francis Wayland Parker who had introduced progressive educational principles in Boston and then in Chicago.

As I always like to see Swamiji with the children and love to know their reactions this story again is very important for us. There was a young girl and let us know from a child how she saw Swamiji. This story first came in the 'Prabuddha Bharat' in Sep.1933 in an article written by Mrs. Henrietta Holmes Earl. Let us hear from her directly –

“I think of Vivekananda always as "Vivekananda the Vivid." And perhaps that is so because for a few brief moments I looked into his eyes. It happened when I, a small child, was a pupil in the school of which Col. Francis W. Parker was the head. Several of our schools are named after him, and his influence on education and thought was so great that he may be classed as a prophet of education. His work was known in far countries, and children came to his school from many lands with their parents who returned to their foreign homes to teach his methods. Among this group of foreign students was a Hindu family, the son being in my class. Each morning the entire school assembled for Chapel and often a brief talk by some distinguished visitor was heard. 

On one of these occasions we were all fascinated by the spectacle of our tall Col. Parker ushering in another stately man who was dressed in flowing robes and turban. We sang, and Col. Parker read a prayer. Then the Swami spoke to us. I was too little to remember what he said, but I do remember how quiet the big room was, and how brilliant his eyes and vibrant his voice. When his talk was over he too said a prayer, and then he and Col. Parker walked down together from the platform through the assembly hall.


The Hindu boy next to me sat in an aisle seat, and, as the Swami passed him, bent and kissed his robe. I was so surprised at such a thing that I whispered to the boy, "Why did you do that? Who is he?" "The man is Swami Vivekananda, a great saint from my country," he said. "But," said I, "there are no saints any more." "Not here in your country," he replied, "but we still have them in India."

One Who Guides Me on the Snow Tops of Himalayas Help & Guide Me Here!

Oh, how I am missing being with Swamiji...have to find a solution to have a laptop so that i can access the blog whenever i wish. Life feels empty without Him.

It is very interesting to know Swamiji’s state of mind during this period. But before going any further I would like to give one letter as it is by Swamiji to Prof. Wright whom Swamiji lovingly calls Adhyapakji. As per Marie Louise Burke this letter was unpublished before and I do not know whether it is published even now.

I have quoted a part of it earlier from this letter as I just love to read it. And I feel it is very important that you all too read it...again and again like me!!!!!

“Dear Adhyapakji -

             I do not know what you are thinking of my long silence. In the first place I dropped in on the Congress in the eleventh hour. And quite unprepared and that kept me very very busy for some time. Secondly I was speaking almost every day in the Congress and had no time to write and last and greatest of all - my kind friend I owe so much to you that it would have been an insult to your Ahetuka (unselfish) friendship to have written you business like letters in a hurry. The Congress is now over.

             Dear brother I was so so afraid to stand before that great assembly of fine speakers and thinkers from all over the world and speak but the Lord gave me strength and I almost every day heroically (?) faced the platform and the audience. If I have done well He gave me the strength for it if I have miserably failed - i knew that before hand for I am hopelessly ignorant. Your friend prof. Bradley was very kind to me and he always cheered me on And oh! everybody is so kind here to me who am nothing that it is beyond my power of expression. Glory unto Him in the highest in whose sight the poor ignorant monk from India is the same as the learned divines of this mighty land. And how the Lord is helping me every day of my life brother - i sometimes wish for a life of million million ages to serve Him through the world dressed in rags and fed by charity.

             Oh how I wished that you were here to see some of our sweet ones from India - the tender hearted Buddhist Dhammapala the orator Mazoomdar and realize that in that far off and poor India there are hearts that beat in sympathy to yours, born and brought up in this mighty - and great country.

             My eternal respects to your holy wife and to your sweet children my eternal love and blessings.

Col Higginson a very broad man told me that your daughter had written to his daughter about me and he was very sympathetic to me. I am going to Evanston tomorrow and hope to see prof. Bradley there.

May He make us all more and more pure and holy so that we may live a perfect spiritual life even before throwing off this earthly body.

 Vivekananda

  

  [The letter continues on a separate sheet of paper:]

I am now going to be reconciled to my life here. All my life I have been taking every circumstance as coming from him and calmly adapt myself to it. At first in America I was almost out of my water I was afraid I would have to give up the accustomed way of being guided by the Lord and cater for myself - and what a horrid piece of mischief and ingratitude was that. I now clearly see that He who was guiding me on the snow tops of the Himalayas and the burning planes of India is here to help me and guide me. Glory unto Him in the highest. So I have calmly fallen in my old ways. Some body or other gives me a shelter and food some body or other comes to ask me to speak about Him and I know He sends them and mine is to obey. And then He is supplying my necessities and His will be done.

"He who rests [in] Me and gives up all other self assertion and struggles I carry to him whatever he needs" Gita.

So it is in Asia So in Europe So in America for is He not here also? And if He does not I only would take for granted that He wants that I should lay aside this three minutes body of clay - and hope to lay it down gladly -

We may or may not meet brother. He knows. You are great learned and Holy. I dare not preach to you or your wife - but to your children - I quote these passages from the Vedas -

"The four Vedas, Sciences, languages, philosophy and all other learnings are only ornamental the real learning - the true Knowledge is that which enables us to reach him who is unchangeable in His love"

"How real, how tangible, how visible is He through whom the skin touches the eyes see and the world gets its reality"

             "Hearing Him nothing remains to be heard

             Seeing Him nothing remains to be seen

             Attaining Him nothing remains to be attained"

             "He is the eye of our eyes the ear of our ears the

             Soul of our Souls."

He is nearer to you my dears than even your father and mother - you are innocent and pure as flowers - remain so and He will reveal Himself unto you. Dear Austin when you are playing there is another playmate playing with you who loves you more than anybody else and oh He is so full of fun. He is always playing - sometimes with great big balls which we call the sun and earth and sometimes with little children like you and laughing and playing with you.

How funny it would be to see him and play with Him my dear think of it.

Dear Adhyapakji, I am moving about just now - only when I come to Chicago - i always go to see Mr. and Mrs. Lyons [Lyon] one of the noblest couples I have seen here. If you would be kind enough to write to me kindly address it to the care of Mr. John B. Lyons 262 Michigan Ave Chicago.

"He who gets hold of the One in this world of many The one constant existence in a world of flitting shadows - the One life in a world of Death - he alone crosses this sea of misery and struggle. None else none else" Vedas

             "He who is the Brahman of the Vedantins Ishwara of the Naiyayikas, Purusha of the Sankhyas, cause of the Mimamsakas Law of the Buddhists absolute zero of the Atheists and love infinite unto those that love, may [He] take us all under His merciful protection"

             Udayanacharya

(a great philosopher of the Nyaya or Dualistic school and this is the Benediction pronounced at the very beginning of his wonderful book "Kusumanjali a handful of flowers" in which He attempts to establish the existence of a personal creator and moral ruler of infinite love independently of revelation.) '

             Your ever grateful friend

             Vivekananda

My Pillars of Strength - Thakur, Maa, Swamiji and my Mother

On my wedding day Sunilji Chincholkar came to bless us. He is a saintly person and renowned speaker on 'Dasbodh' and 'Samarth Ramdas' in Maharashtra.He said to me in Marathi "Agdi Shiv Parvati saarkha joda distoy" means this couple looks like 'Shiva-Parvati'. I kept wondering about his comment because usually people will say 'the couple looks like 'Lakshmi-Narayan' the God and Goddess of wealth.

Within a few days and even later i came to know how true his words were. The Lord Shiva and Mother Parvati live on Mount Kailas and do not possess any material wealth. Mother Parvati has sons Ganesh and Kartikeya who are actually not born to her. Neither i nor Sudhir had the qualities of 'Shiv-Parvati' but how true it became in other matters. When i met Sunilji ater few years i asked him why did he say so? He too said he didn't know but that, these are His mysterious ways, isn't it?

When due to various reasons we came to know that we ever won't have a child, i became upset and would often keep crying. The tears would not stop flowing as though the cloud had burst. I always  feel that the mental agony and pain a woman undergoes for not bearing a child is more than the physical pain she feels while giving birth to a child. Physical pain is seen and felt by her and others too but the 'aseem dukha', the intense          sorrow of a woman who cannot be a mother is unseen and ignored by each and everyone. 

I must have read Holy Mother more during this period than any other time. That time i used to teach in a school called 'Sandipani' in Nagpur and was the class teacher for V standard. My mother finally said, "Shraddha,  if these 40 children whom you teach in a class remember you for next 40 years then you have achieved motherhood. Now a days even the real children forget their parents during their lifetime. Don't grieve and stop crying."  Her words brought a great change in me and am sure my school children whom i taught will never forget me.

Today this is for Holy Mother, Swamiji, Sri Ramakrishna and my mother who are always with me in every situation.