The Third Shraddha – a witness!

This often happens; nay it has become a part of my existence now. There are already two Shraddhas existing in me and at the same time I am aware of this third Shraddha always with me. Let me explain – Suppose this physical Shraddha is speaking or writing, there is another Shraddha within who prompts me to do things and at the same time there is this third Shraddha standing apart looking at me – how I speak, what I write, what I do! She watches me when I read Marie Louise Burke volumes and she becomes a part of the entire scenario to witness the events happened 120 years ago. Then she follows me when I speak about Him and we all become one with Swamiji. There remains no difference in me, listeners and Swamiji. Oh, this Oneness in many and many in One..!

Yes, third Shraddha is a witness attitude of mine which doesn’t leave me even for a moment now. It started happening when I was leaving for Arunachal Pradesh in 1986. Till then I was not much aware of her existence, though she was always there. In between during the traumatic years she seemed to have lost because i got too entangled in my own dukha, my sorrows, self pity. Then as i started going to Sri Sarada Math, Pune and again speaking about Swamiji she slowly returned. She told me that she was always there but i was only aware of my Annamaya & Manomaya koshas. My body didn't have time to think and my mind didn't want to think...!

This Sakshibhava, the witnessing attitude has to be developed and then to be made it a part of oneself. The moment I indulge in any activity I do, I feel bad or I feel happy but the minute I become aware of this witnessing Shraddha I start rising above all emotions of happiness & sorrow.

During the journey of 150 lectures the Third Shraddha started getting very prominent. Each lecture became a new creation, each place a new acquaintance, each family an old relation, each person becoming close, breaking the barriers of past lives.

The Third Shraddha kept watching in awe at these events, people and relations! From where do they come? How everything is getting organized? The unseen hand of the divine making things happen smoothly. It actually happened last year during my wandering with Swamiji like Marie Louis Burke says - A divine plan unfolding..!

Just imagine all this was happening only because of Swamiji, in whose name events were organized. He made me believe that what happened to Him as an unknown stranger in an unknown city 120 years ago can even happen now who ever will work in His name.

Now, as I write this blog the Third Shraddha is watching in silence, watching my mind, my emotions as they flow through words. She makes me realize that I have to be more aloof and detached but Swamiji doesn't allow and again His love binds me…

Icing on the cake - the best part of Swamiji's Tithi Pooja

Feel Blessed with Mother's Grace

This is my Facebook write up on 3rd February...

I must tell you this - i have to!

On 1st February 2013 in the evening i got a call from Sri Sarada Math, Pune. One of the Mataji said,"Shraddha, nn Swamiji's tithi puja Sarada Ma will be wearing the sari you had brought for Her." I was very happy indeed & said, "i truly believe now that my 150 have reached Him".

The story doesn't end here... i had bought the Sari from Sarnath when last year we had been to Chitrakoot, Kashi etc. I searched today for those pictures & i was enthralled to know that i had bought this sari for Maa exactly on 3rd February 2012 and today Mother has worn it exactly on 3rd Feb. 2013...!

I am happy to the brim knowing that She has blessed me and She has blessed all..!!! It is not by fluke nor by chance but by Her infinite grace She has blessed every one who were with me during my journey last year....every one who became a part of 150 lectures. What do you say?

After every lecture i use to say that, "after a pilgrimage, a yatra we usually do a 'mavanda', a celebration but for me i do not want any punya, may all the accumulated Punya be distributed to each one who became a part of it..! So it has happened, am assured of it..

Icing on the cake..!

The story doesn't end here...read the best part...

I slowly digested the fact that The Mother has worn that Sari which i had bought for her and concealed my happiness, didn't get much excited and kept ruminating over it. I again got a message that the sari will be changed on 7th so if i had to see i can come to Pune by 6th evening...and i reached. 

As i went there i saw all the Matajis smiling at me. Then i got to know something more from which i haven't yet come out. They told me that every year a saree comes from Belur for Sarada Ma for Swamiji's Tithi Puja. Even this year it came but after putting it on Mother they saw that it didn't have border etc. so it got rejected and then saree brought by me was selected. It has sometimes happened that the sari sent by Belur wasn't approved by the Matajis' but it seldom or rather it had never happened that a sari has been put up on Holy Mother and then removed. 

Every thing points towards a fact that i am very lucky and blessed. I am scared because this is too much for me to handle. Have never been so lucky any time but blessed?

Yes, i am ready to agree with the fact that i am blessed. Every body who worked hard to get this Sankalp fulfilled is actually the receiver of this Blessedness. I am just the mediator to tell His message, His life and take His infinite grace to all.

I have posted the following on Facebook after seeing that blessed sari on Ma Sarada Devi - 

Yesterday came to Pune & straight went to see that blessed sari which the Holy Mother chose. There is one more angle to this story, but I must keep it in heart. When we give a cheque we get receipt for it. Similarly, this is a receipt that the bouquet of choicest 150 lectures reaching Him. I like the marathi word-Pochpavati.! See the pic & feel blessed..

“He is an artist in thought, an idealist in belief and a dramatist on the platform.”-Appeal Avalanche, Memphis

I know that Swamiji will reach Detroit in February 1894 and hence want to rush through the earlier events. I personally love the Detroit part of His American stay.

He arrived in Memphis on 13^th Jan.’1884 and was guest of Mr. Hu L. Brinkley at Miss Moon's establishment, Third Street, near Poplar. Miss Virginia Moon was fondly known as "Miss Ginny" in Memphis. She had turned a academy building into a boardinghouse for six or seven bachelor gentlemen. She was around 50 when Swamiji visited Memphis and one of the most extraordinary characters. Swamiji must be surely delighted to meet this emancipated woman with a spirit of independence.

On 14 Swamiji gave an interview for the local Memphis Commercial and spoke on 15^th for the first time in Memphis. He gave 3 lectures and the report came in the Appeal – avalanche, few excerpts from which are –

“COMING WEEK'S ATTRACTIONS

             Memphis this morning has a distinguished visitor in the person of Swami Vive Kananda, a Brahman monk of India, who is the guest of the Nineteenth Century Club. His culture, his eloquence, and his fascinating personality has given this country a new idea of Hindoo civilisation. He is an interesting figure, his fine, intelligent, mobile face in its setting of yellows and his deep, musical voice prepossessing one at once in his favour. So it is not strange that he has been taken up by the literary clubs, and has lectured and preached in many American churches. He speaks without notes, presenting his facts and his conclusions with the greatest art, the most convincing sincerity, and rising at times to a rich, inspiring eloquence. "Hinduism" will be his subject next Tuesday evening at 8 o'clock at the Auditorium.

What was His subject on 15^th we do not know but due to a later research by Sister Gargi, we surely know from an item in the Appeal - avalanche of January 21 that "the address of Swami Vive Kananda before the Nineteenth Century Club and the reception given after the lecture was one of the pleasant events of this eventful year in club calendar. “A piano solo and a song" formed the musical program of the afternoon.” We wonder as how many musical programs Swamiji must have heard while on tour!

The paper also writes further-        

AMUSEMENTS

             "One of the giants of the platform," "a model representative of his race," "a sensation of the World's Fair parliament," "an orator by divine right " All this and more is true of Swami Vive Kananda, the Hindu Monk, who is in the city, a guest of the Nineteenth Century Club. Several members of the club heard Vive Kananda during the recent parliament of religions, and were so charmed with his eloquence, his earnestness, his culture, that they determined to have him visit Memphis, and to this end have been in correspondence with him since the adjournment of the parliament. On tomorrow evening at 8 o'clock in the Auditorium an opportunity will be given the people of Memphis to see and hear this earnest, eloquent Brahman tell of the religions, manners, and customs of his people.

THE HINDOO MONK

             The Eloquent Lecturer from the Orient Will Be Heard Tonight

             Swami Vive Kananda, the Hindoo monk, who is to lecture at the Auditorium tonight, is one of the most eloquent men who has ever appeared on the religious or lecture platform in this country. His matchless oratory, deep penetration into things occult, his cleverness in debate, and great earnestness captured the closest attention of the world's thinking men at the World's Fair Parliament of Religion, and the admiration of thousands of people who have since heard him during his lecture tour through many of the states of the Union.

             In conversation he is a most pleasant gentleman; his choice of words are the gems of the English language, and his general bearing ranks him with the most cultured people of Western etiquette and custom. As a companion he is a most charming man, and as a conversationalist he is, perhaps not surpassed in the drawing - rooms of any city in the Western World. He speaks English not only distinctly, but fluently, and his ideas, as new as sparkling, drop from his tongue in a perfectly bewildering overflow of ornamental language.

             Swami Vive Kananda, by his inherited religion or early teachings, grew up a Brahmin, but becoming converted to the Hindoo religion he sacrificed his rank and became a Hindoo priest, or as known in the country of oriental ideality, a sanyasin. He had always been a close student of the wonderful and mysterious works of nature as drawn from God's high conception, and with years spent as both a student and teacher in the higher colleges of that eastern country, he acquired a knowledge that has given him a worldwide reputation as one of the most thoughtful scholars of the age.

I am purposely giving the details directly from the newspaper as they are so specifically writing about His language, His eloquence, His mannerism etc. Memphis was in love with Swamiji...let us see tomorrow how they loved Him..!

'Unknown becoming Known and then my very Own'..!

My Power House where all my Prayers are always heard...Sri Sarada Math, Pune 

As one day i wrote this line - 'Unkown becoming Known and then my very Own', it became very dear to me during this entire year. It is a curious fact that I do not remember when I said about giving 150 lectures and how this became my ‘Sankalp’ ever. In fact I am very happy that I do not remember. The moment I identify myself with that time I said it, it will show my ego i.e. “I said it at so and so time”! By not remembering it I know it’s His wish & not mine.

As I reflect over the events of last year, I know very much in the heart of my hearts that this was not easy – 150 over a year’s time, with my work, office, travelling, really it was not easy. By His grace I rarely fall sick but I remember constantly praying to Swamiji, “Please, let me not fall sick till I complete my 150 lectures”. See, how we pray? When I was scared of losing my voice in 1993, I remember constantly praying to Thakur, “Please, give my voice back to do Your work, to speak Your praise”! And HE granted. Once more intensely I had asked sitting outside the Male General Ward of K.E.M hospital, “Lord, please save Sudhir from dialysis at least for a year”! The prayer was granted and it was exactly after a year that the dialysis began. So folks, we have to be very very careful for what we ask from the ever merciful One!

I am not aware how this year has passed! Things just went on happening.. people who knew me & knew me not went out of the way to organize my lectures. This really surprises me even today…they didn't know how I speak, nor do they knew me but they just trusted the person who approached for me. I got humbled day by day as I travelled and stayed at the homes who treated me like a family and let me confess – Every time, at every place I told myself, this love, this respect is not for me, this is just for Him whose name I represent and the name whom these people love beyond imagination.

Looking at the devotion of people at certain places I kept staring in awe, in reverence! When would I become like this? When would I start worshiping Him like them? I stopped questioning and became more n more humble!

Swamiji in fact got me prepared for this work for all these years. When I look back I know and I am convinced that it is He who moved me from place to place carrying His message. Had He not made me complete the lecture series on ‘New Discoveries’, Tantine, Sara Bull and again and again speak about the unknown Swamiji in the West, this journey wouldn't be possible.

As I look around and see people striving to get unselfish love, I find myself most lucky to have not one but many such people in my life whom I call ‘Atmaj’… Born of my soul, nay, parts of my Soul..!

I experienced the Oneness of which Swamiji talks, the scriptures define, Thakur practiced and the sages proclaimed! It is this 'Ekatma Bhava' which binds us all to love unconditionally, without thinking of returns & gains, profits & losses, gives & takes…just pure, unassuming, infinite Love.

Aptly putting these feelings in words is – “Unknown becoming Known and then my very Own..!

'Being away yet being with HIM...Feeling Full yet Empty..!'

Remand Home children meditating after the lecture on Swamiji. 

It has been months that i opened my own blog and even peeped into it. It is a wonderful feeling of - 'Being away yet being with HIM...Feeling full yet empty...with so much of gaps in writing yet feel Complete..!! Isn't it amazing..!'

This is absolutely unforgivable that I didn't have time to write my blog, about my journey with Swamiji. But once I tell the experiences in this one year of marathon journey with Him you all will love it. Just to remind you readers – Last year I had a Sankalp, a resolution to deliver 150 lectures to commemorate the 150th birth Centenary of Swami Vivekananda in 2013.

The aim was to reach those places where no one goes, especially the interiors of Maharashtra and other places. Of course I reached such places but I also visited many schools & colleges in the metropolitan cities and what I found was surprising. I also took Him along with Thakur and Ma to Remand Homes, Rescue Home, Ashram Shalas, villages, literates & the learned,  hostels & offices, where ever He felt like taking me.

People were hardly aware of His life, forget knowing about His mission, His work, His message. Almost none knew anything about Swamiji. The Youth kept Him away thinking of Him as a mere Spiritual leader & can be thought of or to be read in a later age. The middle aged & elders were ignorant because they never have time after they start getting entangled in the web of job, family & commitments.

My goal was simple and clear from the beginning. I wanted each one where ever i go to feel love for my 'GuruSakhaa' and make Him their friend for rest of their life. I think i have succeeded in at least converting nearly 50,000 and more number of people to love Him. 

It is like Ida Ansell had said, "Swami Turiyananda used to say, 'Mother can make the mouse a lion'."

I truly believe that Swamiji made me do all this, in fact He got it done through me. I am humbled during this year as i travelled the length & breadth of my motherland receiving the love from unknown people at unknown places. My favourite slogan became 

- "Unknown becoming Known and then my very Own"! This will be my next blog, telling about these my very OWN people in Unknown places.

"I see no way, but His eyes see..."

In Boston everything around Him seemed bleak and uncertain. Anyone in His place would have lost courage but Swamiji was not the one to accept defeat. He wrote a letter to Alasinga Perumal which according to him was a moment’s weakness. But for me it has become very important letter now. I must have read this letter and all that part of the chapter for ‘n’ number of times. Swamiji writes,

“All those rosy ideas we had before starting have melted, and I have now to fight against impossibilities. A hundred times I had a mind to go out of the country and go back to India. But I am determined, and I have a call from Above; I see no way, but His eyes see. And I must stick to my guns, life or death”

As I was preparing for the lecture in Ramakrishna Math and read this letter again, I got goose bumps all over. You know, I have got a habit of getting stuck when I like something. This happens all the time when I read the Volumes of New Discoveries in the West. Then I read it again and again and yet again. As a madwoman I keep reading, and then start repeating as I eat, as I sleep and as I walk to my office. It is as though I get possessed by those words and Swamiji reveals Himself to me in a totally different form.

So folks, it so happened that I was reading this letter and I got stuck as usual..! I felt I have read something different, very powerful and re read it…and then I suddenly realised what had caught me.. “ I see no way, but His eyes see”. O God, I thought, so this is it..!! how come I didn’t notice it till now..!!

If we just start applying this mantra in our life with total faith in HIM who can see, things will surely change.

Folks, please think about these magical words, written by our Swamiji. These are not ordinary words I feel, there is so much conviction, so much power when He says it. Hence, whenever we are in a dilemma or uncertainty of what will happen or whatever is happening, we just have to believe in –“I see no way, but His eyes see”

Facing Challenges in Life

It is a longest gap ever since i started this blog. Was engaged in doing His work only so i know everyone will have a large heart to forgive me. Have completed 30 lectures till now and marching on...

On 6^th May I had to speak at the Youth Forum in Ramakrishna Mission, Pune. The topic given to me was ‘Facing Challenges in Life’. It had to be connected with Swamiji and truly who else other than Swamiji has faced so many challenges in life? Right from losing His father in His Youth till He came back from Italy to India after His second visit to Europe!  Almost 20 years of struggle and hardships without a single moment’s respite.

None of us must have undergone such challenges ever. It is not just about losing His father at a young age but it is about the unexpected turn of events after that. This phase in Swamiji’s life actually is very important as it tested Him on all the levels of physical, psychological, financial and also personal. A phase where His all the capacities were tested to the brim.

We usually ignore this part of Narendranath’s life which can be very inspirational even in today’s time. How he faced all the worldly problems with so much courage is exemplary in itself. I find this one situation very challenging when His mother reprimands Him on praying to God as He wakes up and says, “what has God given us, why do you have to pray’. A mother whom Narendra had seen worshipping Lord all his life, who wouldn’t even have water before her Pooja rituals..!! When she says such words, how difficult this young boy must have felt at heart.  I always try to think of Swamiji as, what He must have felt? I try to reach to Him in all possible ways as we all know that how tender and soft his heart was. How he felt for everyone around Him! And what must be His state of mind seeing His mother and brothers suffering of poverty.

When we read this aspect of His life and when I tell it to the youth, I have seen that they find Him very close. As though he is not some where remote to reach out but is very very close to our heart. As I always feel that if I just stretch my hands I can touch Him.

As we go through all these trials throughout His life, we also see Him facing various challenges in America in different forms. The challenges He faced after reaching Chicago is the culmination of all. Just see, before leaving Mumbai He says to Swami Turiyananda, this parliament is organized for this,  pointing His Finger at Himself. And after saying this when he lands up in America, He finds none of the things in his favour.

Even when he is sitting under the tree till Mrs. Hale comes, everything is uncertain, gloomy. Later too after becoming famous, he is not spared by missionaries and the toughest battle he fought at Detroit.

How much to learn from His life..!! None of us have ever faced problems that Swamiji faced. I am dead sure about it.  When he was in Boston, he had to face one weird situation. Let us know it from him –

                         "I landed in Boston once, a stranger in a strange land. My coat was like this red one and I wore my turban. I was proceeding up a street in the busy part of the town when I became aware that I was followed by a great number of men and boys. I hastened my pace and they did too. Then something struck my shoulder and I began to run, dashing around a corner, and up a dark passage, just before the mob in full pursuit swept past - and I was safe!"


You feel so much pain when as you read this and visualise the above situation. How he faces these challenges let us see tomorrow.